jm_speaks

2006-03-08T20:22:00.000+08:00

Panatang makabayan...Iniibig ko ang Pilipinas...Ito ang aking lupang sinilangan...Ito ang tahanan ng aking lahi...
Sa panahon ngayon, kilala pa nga ba natin ang mga propagandista noon?
Marahil ay hindi na. Sinu-sino nga ba ang mga ito? Ano nga ba ang pinaglalaban ng mga propagandistang ito? Bakit nga ba sila naging sikat at bakit hanngang ngayon ay pilit pa rin nating inaalala ang kanilang mga naging kontribusyon sa ating bansa?
Ang tanong, meron nga ba? Kung oo, anu ano naman ang mga ito?
Unahin na lamang natin itong ating Pambansang bayaning si Jose Rizal. Nakilala sa bansag na Laong lann, siya na marahil ang pinkasikat na pilipino kasunod ni Pacquiao, ni Darna, ni Marina, ni Dyesebel, ni Captain Barbel, ni Sharon Cuneta, nina Juday at Piolo, nina John Lloyd at Bea, nina Panday at Eden, ng Cueshe, ng Hale, nina Nyoy at Nina, ng MYMP, ni Charo Santos at Wowo-Willie, ng mga Eat Bulaga Hosts, nina Kris at James Yap, nina Claudine at Raymart, nina Mahal, Mura at Jimboy, ng mga PBB Housemates...
Sikat pa nga ba siya?
Mabalik tayo kay Rizal. Noong kapanahunan ni Rizal, maaaring sabihin nating dakila ang kaniyang mga nagawa, ngunit kung ngayon nabuhay si Rizal, marahil hindi lang siya ipapadala sa Dapitan. Kung si Erap nasa Tanay, saan naman kaya ipapadala nf rihemeng Arroyo ang katulad ni Rizal na walang ibang ninais kundi ang palayin ang bansa laban sa mga tiwali at mapagsamantala.
Kung nabubuhay lamang si Rizal, malamang hindi lamang ang Daily Tribune ang pinagiinitan ng pamahalaang Arroyo, kundi maging ang komapanyang pinapasukan niya. O baka naman kasama na siya ni Jose Ma. Sison at namumuhay na ngayon sa The Netherlands.
Ngunit gustuhin naman kaya ni Rizal na doon manirahan ng permanente, o gayahin nito si Ninoy na matapos ang matagal tagal ding pananahimik ay bumalik sa bansa, nabaril sa airport, at namatay. Nabalo tuloy si Cory at naging presidente at sumikat naman si Kris na ngayo'y malapit na ding ikasal.
Kung nagakagayo'y matatawag pa bang bayani si Rizal, gayong maraming babae ang maglalabasan at sasabihing may relasyon sila nito. Hindi kaya sa halip na kilalanin si Rizal ay puro pangaalipusta ang matanggap nito sa Gabriela at ipakulong pa ni Atty. Katrina Legarda?
Ano naman kaya ang masasabi ni Sec Gonzales sa mga tulad ni Rizal?
Malipat naman tayo kay Marcelo H. del Pilar o Plaridel. Isa sa mga naging punong patnugot ng La Solidaridad. Isa sa mga propagandistang nakilala dahil sa pagsusulat niya sa sariling wika. Hindi na siya gumamit ng ibang wika gaya ng karamihan sa ibang mga propagandista na sa wikang Kastila nagsusulat.
Ang tanong, san kaya siya nagsusulat ngayon kung nabubuhay pa siya? Malamang dahil tagalog ang gamit niya ay sa tabloid siya nagsusulat.
Ano kaya ang masasabi niya kapag ang kaniyang mga isinusulat ay may katabing hubad na larawan ni Maui Taylor, o kaya'y ni Joyce Jimenez? Paano kung si Keanne Reeves ang naroon? Matuwa kaya si del Pilar kapag nagkagayon?
Malamang mawalan ng interes ang mga mambabasa kay del Pilar. Bagkus ay maraming magagalit sa kanya kabilang na ang Gabriela at ang mga ayaw sa pornograpiya kuno. Kabilang na sina Manoling Morata. Patay kang del Pilar ka.
Ang susunod ay ang unang editor ng La Solidaridad na si Graciano Lopez Jaena. Sino nga ba siya?
Tubong jaro, Iloilo, tumira siya sa Madrid ng halos 15 taon. Ganon?
Malamang sa hindi, paguwi niya dito'y sisikat talaga siya ng husto. Malamang na kahilera niya sa kasikatan sina Thalia, Joyce Jimenez, Troy Montero, Sandara Park, at Sam Milby. Ang tanong nga lang, hanggang kailan naman?
Alam naman natin na tayong mga Pinoy, kay daling magsawa. Dapat magaling ka. Kung wala ka talagang talento sa larangan pinasok mo, isang araw pagkagising mo, wala ng papansin sayo.
Baka nga mas sikat pa sayo ang mga bida sa Goin Bulilit eh. Tingnan mo nga't naka-isang taon na sila. Malamang sa hindi mas marami pang nanood sa pambatang programang ito kaysa ang makinig o magbasa sa mga gawa nitong si Lopez-Jaena.
O marahil ay nasa bakuran na ito ng Dos at kasama nina Karen Davila, Ted Failon at Julius Babao sa TV Patrol World. O baka naman nasa ANC ito, o para sa mga kapuso natin ay nasa Pinoy TV naman ito. Ang tanong, may nakakapanood nga ba ng Pinoy TV? Nagtatanong lang po.
Siyempre pa, naririyan din naman si Antonio Luna, kapatid ng pintor na si Juan, at nakilala sa taguring Taga-ilog.
Si Luna ay isang magaling na propagandista. Nagtapos din siya ng parmasiya at naging heneral sa pamamagitan ni Aguinaldo.
Kung buhay pa si Aguinaldo ngayon, ano kaya ang masasabi nito sa kontobersiya ngayon sa Philippine Marines? Kilala niya kaya si Ping Lacson? Eh si Gringo Honasan?
Kasama kaya siya sa Oakwood Mutiny? Eh ano naman ang masasabi niya sa EDSA 1? Eh sa EDSA 2? EDSA 3? EDSA 4? EDSA 5? EDSA 6? EDSA 7... EDSA 998?EDSA 999? Mendiola 1? Mendiola 2? Mendiola 3? Ayala 1? Ayala 2? Ayala 3? Ayala 4? Ayala 5? Ayala 6? Welcome Rotonda 1? Welcome Rotonda 2? Whew! Tama na!
Eh sa EO 1017? Ano naman kaya ang say ng ating magiting na bayaning heneral?
Sino pa ba? Ah, si Mariano Ponce na nakilala din sa mga tawag na Naning, Kalipulo at Tigabalang. Hmmm...
Ano kaya ang masasabi ng senado dito kay Ponce? Hindi kaya nila ito paimbestigahan tulad ni Jose Velarde? Sa dami ng kanyang katauhan, hindi kaya siya mahirap sa pagfigile ng ITR niya? Baka naman habulin ito ng BIR tulad ng ginawa kay Juday, Regine at Goma?
At hindi kaya ito mahirapan sa mga papeles niya, lalo na sa passport na gagamitin niya? Baka sapitin din niya angsinapit nina April Boy, Anjeanette Agbayari, mag-aswang Daboy at Ness sa mga paliparan sa ibang bansa?
Huwag naman sana, dahil baka may mga isyung tutkan ng baril at kung anu-ano pang pambababoy kuno ang maglabasan.
Ang kagandahan nga lang dito kay ay sanggang-dikit ito kay Dr. Sun Yat Sen, pinuno ng Kuomintang at ang kauna-unahang pangulo ng Republika ng Tsina. Hmmm... Kung nabubuhay ngayon ang dalawa'y marahil, hindi lamang sa Tsina pinagbawal ang Memoirs of a Geisha. Hehe...
At ang huli sa aking listahan ay si Jose Ma. Panganiban o kilala sa tawag na JoMaPa.
Kung buhay ngayon si JoMaPa, malamang hindi ito kilala ngayon. Bakit?
Uso pa ba ang mga kanyon ngayon? Malamang sa pagsusulat na lamang natuon ang atensiyon nito, hanggang sa nagutom at namatay ng dilat ang mga mata.
Ngunit sa dami ng koneksiyon nito, tiyak may magandang kinabukasang naghihintay dito. Tiyak iyon!
-*-c",)
We are persuaded that no sacrifices are too little to win the rights and the liberty of a nation that is oppressed by slavery.

2006-03-03T06:28:00.000+08:00

2006-02-22T21:46:00.000+08:00

Zhang ZiYi...
Memoirs of A Chinese Geisha???

2006-02-22T12:59:00.000+08:00

THINGS ARE GETTING WORST AND WORST FOR ME...

2006-02-19T06:57:00.000+08:00

I WANT A VACATION!!!

I DO NEED ONE RIGHT NOW!!!

2006-02-18T20:18:00.000+08:00

123

2006-02-17T20:08:00.000+08:00

Brokeback Mountain
Two Down... Three More...

Brokeback Mountain may be the most talked-about film that I ever encountered so far. Especially, it being the Oscar front-runner and with its highly talked-about theme, there's no way anyone would miss the chance of hearing what Brokeback is all about.When I told myself, that I would be watching all the five films nominated for the Best Picture contention, I was aware that it included this controversial film. And it was something that I want to do - watch and judge Brokeback myself. An see if it really lives up to what people - critics and moviegoers alike - are saying about Brokeback.Heath Ledger is probably the biggest winner with regards to this film. Him being nominated for almost all award giving bodies, and getting praises for his work. Jake Gyllenhaal on the other hand, was the one who was being underpraised. .I was supposed to watch it either at Gateway or at Eastwood, but as fate intervened I wasn't able to get there on time. So, I ended watching it at Ali Mall, with me running all over Araneta Center, just so that I would be able to get there on time and without me being late for work.The movie started kinda slow for me. Although I wasn't really thinking of explosive scenes at the start of the movie, I felt like I'm getting bored on the early few minutes of Brokeback. But one thing that I really liked about Brokeback was the use of its musical scoring. The scoring, from the very start was neatly picked and was used with great timing.It was really hard to tackle a movie with a gay themes on it, specially if the movie doesn't want to make us laugh but to make us fall in love with the characters. It was like watching Romeo and Juliet, but having two Romeos, or watching A Walk To Remember, without Jamie Sullivan, or Titanic with Jack falling for another Jack.But as I told myself, Brokeback is not JUST a Gay movie. It's more than two guys fucking each other. It tackles life around the sixties, infidelity, marital bliss, and a whole lot more.And Ang Lee, was really great in making this film, and turn a complete trash into a masterpiece. Though I may confess that I wasn't really the emotional wreck watching this movie. I did not cry while watching the movie just like the way I cried with Armaggedon, The Notebook, I Am Sam and The Big Fish. But the big surprise is, Brokeback made my heart ache more than it should.The movie was great in its own ways. And I know, that people will always remember that one time or another, we fell in love with Jack Twist's and Ennis del Mar's love story.

The characters...

01. Heath Ledger indded hold the distinction of being on the lead role for this film. But I still think that without Jack Twist, Ennis del Mar, his character would just be a nobody. Ledger was great on this movie, but that's all I can say. His performance is what I can say an already expected performance from an actor like him, but unlike really great actor, I didn't see any depth on his performance.

02. Jake Gyllenhaal's portrayal of Jack Twist. I just don't know why in the world were people giving all the praises to Hedger, when it was so obvious what great performance Gyllenhaal gave in this movie. I just loved his character. Though it could be seen at the start that he was gay (though some may object to this) he was able to show the true meaning of being discreet. He was able to portray the life of a gay man, trying to live a life that he was supposed to live.

In a society like that of the movie's, it would really be hard for a gay man like that of Jack Twist to be out and tell the world of who he really is. I just do hope that after this movie, Gyllenhaal would be making more Oscar worthy films...

03. Michelle William's performance was probably her best ever. I just do hope she wins the Oscar. She was just so great. When I first saw her on Dawson's Creek, I really hate her. from the way she looked to the way she acts. But with Brokeback under her belt, she was just so great that I can place her alongside my other favorite Renee Zellweger.

Alma, Twist's wife on the movie showed what it meant by unconditional love. Seeing her husband kissing another man was probably the biggest blow a wife can see from their husband. It was so painful to her, yet she tried to hide it, thinking about the family they built and the love she have for Jack.

04. Anne Hathaway. Well, the role may be too short for us to remember her, but at least she gave her best. Though, she did look older now. Hehe...

Five of my most favorite scenes...

The scene when Ennis learned that Jack already died. From geeting the letter to the conversation with Jack's wife. Both Ennis and Jack's wife were holding their feelings afraid to tell each other what they know and how they feel. It was probably the greatest part of Hathaway on this film. The only negative about it was the lack of emotion coming from Ledger's performance. That scene could have made me cry, but it did not. I tried my best to be carried away withe scene, but I never was. There were something missing... I just can't explain what.

The scene when Ennis found the jacket on Jack's closet. There I could say that Ledger was great. I liked the scene so much... Need I say more?

# 3

The scene where Jack and Ennis saw each other again after four long years. Both were married now and have kids, but the scene was just so true that you can't help but be happy when the two were reunited. Ang Lee was able to show what it felt like when you were away from your love one for more than how-many-years-you-could-tell. It was so painful, yet so enduring watching that scene and playing it back on your mind over and over again.

Also on that scene was William's great performance. The registration of fear/love/anger/pain all over her face was so genuine that I have nothing else to do but...

The one scene where Jack was driving very happy after learning that Ennis got into divorce. Then on the next scene, you would see him crying after Ennis declined to go with him and stay in Texas with him. You see, I just love Gyllenhaal's performance on this movie.

"I wish I knew how to quit on you!" That was probably the greatest line I ever heard. And yes, it came from Gyllenhaal himself. It's just so true that I ended up crying when I thought that after almost half of the movie, I won't be crying. But with that line alone... Tears were streaming down my cheeks...

2006-02-15T19:03:00.000+08:00

One Nice GOAL!!!

Yesterday, it was the very disturbing yet inspiring movie, MUNICH. But today, another inspiring movie made my day. This time it was the light drama, GOAL! The Dream Begins. It may not have the same publicity, but this film really caught my attention the first time I saw a poster of the movie. What more now that I've actually seen the movie already.

It may have been months ago when I got a glimpse of the poster while passing by along SM North. It was then that I told myself that this is one movie I won't allow to pass without me seeing it.

Then yesterday, I learned that today will be the opening day for Goal. Which prompted me to wake up early and watch it before my shift starts today. I know that it would be asking too much from me to wake up that early since I would have no sleep at all and I would have to work for nine long hours. But still, GOAL is GOAL, and I know that I really wanted to see the movie. So why not?

Goal is the story of Santiago Martinez. A young Mexican-American boy whose only dream is to become a professional soccer player. He was gifted with the skill but his father is hindering him to follow his heart and achieve the dream. His father wants him and his younger brother to follow his footstep and start up their own business - hard labor that is.

But young Santi knows what he wants and will do anything to follow his heart. He works hard, day and night to earn money for himself. everything about the movie falls exactly on where it should be. Over-all, I really liked the movie. More than I thought I would...

Five things I liked about this movie...

01. The story itself. Am just an avid fan of movies about the trials and triumphs of people, specially when they're sports superstars and movie stars as well. It's just so great to see their lives before they become who they are now. It makes them more human. It makes dreaming more realistic. It makes me dream more and dream big, and bigger and bigger.

02. Kuno Becker's performance was great. I just don't know if he's really a proffesional player or what, but the way he depicted Santi's life... It's just so amazing. And by the way, ask him to smile... c",)

03. The determination. The spirit of Santi's life is so contagious. I really love the trainings when he fell thousand of times. He stood up again. Fell again. Stood up again. Was booted out from training sessions. Was asked to go back again and try-out. Was asked to leave again. Was back again... I just can't help but admire Santi's determination. I just wish I have the same determination that he has.

04. The competition. I may honestly say that aside from how the game is being played and my uncle being one of the national coaches of RP Team, i know nothing about the game anymore. But the way the movie was recounted, its just hard not to fall in love with the movie and soccer itself.

05. It gives hope, hopefully not just to me... But to everybody who had the chance to see the movie. The movie's just so positive. It may not have BIG social issues but it do have some that happens everyday and eveywhere that we tend to disregard it.

What I didn't like about the movie...

01. Simplicity. The story was so simple... But maybe t'was also another reason why I fell in love with it. Am not sure... Hehe!

02. Predictability. This is one thing that I hate about movies. They're just too predictable that even on your sleep, you would be able to guess what might happen on the next few scenes. Yes, stories need not to have deep subject matters to tell us or disturbing social issues to tackle about, but still, it should be somewhat unpredictable.

03. Uhmmm... Can't think of anything more. told you, I loved the movie... Hehehe! Hope you could catch it too.

2006-02-15T10:36:00.000+08:00

MUNICH
One Down... Four To Go...

Being an avid fan of the Oscars, am really preparing myself to watch THOUSAND of films this next few months to accomodate my movie cravings.

And the first film that caught my attnetion that's currently on theaters now was munich. I was supposed to watch the movie last Monday, but only got the chance yesterday. I can honestly say that I know nothing about the tragedy that occured at the 1972 Munich Olympics. That made me more interested on watching the film. I know for a fact that it would contain very graphic scenes, but I wasn't prepared for what was on that film.

In a society where tons and tons of lives were wasted because of terrorism, watching the terrorists' point of views are somewhat hard to digest. The movie didn't run because of the story. The story is the movie itself.

Eric Bana's portrayal of Avner was great, although I know for a fact that great is probably one big understatement. He may not be nominated for the Best Actor category, but his performance... its just... *****

Steven Sielberg's movie really moved something inside of me.

One thing I notice though is that it seems nobody's interested with the film specially with the BIG openings of local films like GMA Films' I Will Always Love You and Star Cinema's Close to You. Too bad for us since we still haven't really moved on from the Filipinism that was inflicted to us by our forefathers. Only if moviegoers would just start to choose and choose wisely on which films can make them a better person and help them understand what's really going on in a dynamic society we are living in...

Anyway here's the five things I like about the film...

01. I was given a chance to know what happened on that tragc day of Munich Olympics. You see, I was born 13 years after that. and it seems that it was not even mentioned to me by any living person I know, nor was it mentioned in any television show I ever saw...

02. Avner, Louis and his Papa's character were sooooo realistic. the distinction of Avner's two different lives were great. Avner, the father and husband in contrast to Avner, the terrorist was something to take note of. It may be true that one can be evil, but there's always something in a person that makes him cry. Avner is one example of that. Sometime's we tend to forget who we are, what we are made of and what our mission in life is. hope that Munich can answer that and make us rethink of what's going on in our society and what WE CAN DO to help.

Louis and his so-called Papa's indifferences were also something to watch. Yes, they may be connected to the terrorists and to anybody else, but the way they were depicted in the film, the best thing taht really caught my attention is that they're still a ordinary people, who have families. They may have big houses, make big money, but the father-son relationship was something I can't help but notice.

03. The timing of the film is something to be commended. It's hard to create an experimental movie that people will watch specially with a theme of terrorism. At this time of our lives, where war and terrorism is so rampant, its hard to sell something that people can either praise you or condemn you. But the courage to create one film like this...

04. The scene where Avner talked to his mom on the hospital scene almost made me choke. "One look at you and I know everything I have to know." Need I say more???

05. Seven Spielberg... Would I watch it if not for him? Would Oscar notice it without him? Your guess is as good as mine...

five things I don't like about the film...

01. The VISUALS. The storyline, acting and directing may be stunning, but the visuals are just too much for me. I even have to hold my breathe for some scenes, just so I wouldn't puke or what. Hehe...

02. The story ledt a lot of holes that until now am trying to answer. the ending was also something I wasn't prepared for.

03. The character of Geoffrey rush Ephraim... I wasn't really able to know him.

04. Was hoping for a balanced portrayal of Avner's two lives, but just saw a small part of him being the husband and father. Bana's portrayal was great, but the character was somewhat shallow in some ways...

05. It was just toooooooo LONG for me. That I never thought it would ever end. And when it did... Arghhh...

2006-02-13T02:00:00.000+08:00

A Pair I Would Never Forget

as February 14 approaches...

i can't help but remember...

it should have been the most romantic day of the year...

but why am i am not feeling well..

why am i so sad...

why am i hurt...

why am i missing you...

2006-02-09T06:18:00.000+08:00

123...

456...

789...

I'll explain to you later...

Ciao!

2006-02-09T00:42:00.000+08:00

walkng...

actually, this is one of my oldest composition ever...
and i just can't help it but republish it...
over and over again...

because this article of mine...
always serve as my guidance...

that no matter what happens...
i'll always be the same person...
whose feet are on the ground...

and whose quest in life...
is to continue living...
and to fulfill my desires each and evry day...

no matter what happens...
no matter what obstacles i encounter...

hope it serves you the same purpose as well...

walkng s my passion...
nd so s urs...

but walkng s damn 2 complc8td...

sumtyms...
i wnt 2 run...
so i cn b ahead of evry1...

sumtyms...
i'v got 2 slow dwn...
nd w8 4 sum1 else...

nd sumtyms...
i also got 2 luk back...
nd go wlk back again...

nd most of all...
it s also tiring as well...

dat sumtyms...
all i wnt 2 do...
s 2 stop...

nd sit 4 a wyl...
or evn 2 lie down a bit...

no matter wat i do...
d mportnt thng s dat...
i do sum rest...

rest...
dat wud eithr...

resume bck 2 walkng...
or thngs myt go d othr way round...

nd dat dat rest...
wud cause much mor trouble...

der r also a lot of thngs...
dat i cn't help but deal...
wyl am walkng...

sumtyms...
i fil so strong...
specially after some rest...

sumtyms...
i do fil so weak...
dat i evn trip myself...
wid my face flat on d road...

but wat's amazng n walkng...
s d path i chose...

sumtyms...
i wnt d long wnding road...
wer i cn run bck nd forth...
without anybody's disturbnce...

sumtyms...
i wnt d 1 full of curves...
wer i cn b mor advnturous...
nd play wid d curves itself...

sumtyms...
i wnt d 1 wid grass on it...
wer i cn sit dwn 4 a wyl...
nd take sum rest...

sumtyms...
i wnt stoney roads...
wer i cn pick up stones...
2 throw nd play wid...

sumtyms...
i wnt those wid trees on it...
to climb nd c d views ahead...

sumtyms...
i wnt animals 2 b der...
2 run nd play wid...

sumtyms...
i wnt othr pipol 2 b der as well...
2 c smyls nd frowns asyd from mine...

but most of d tym...

i do wnt 2 b alone...
walkng all by myself...
dip n my thots...

thnkng...
hoping...
wshing...
imagining...

anothr thng i noticed tho...

r d numerous crossroads...
i encountered...

crossroads mins decisions...
nd decisions r tough 2 make...

sumtyms...
am ryt...

but most of d tym...
am not...

but d gud thng bout walkng...

s dat u cn always go bck...
back 2 d same spot...

wer u made d terrble mstake...
of whch among d roads 2 take...

nd u cn also go bck...
nd fetch sum1...

2 take d journey wid u...
wen d person ur wid...
left u walkng alone...

nd am not ashamed of it...
4 pipol 2 knw...
dat am going back...

nd bsyds...
am evn proud of it actually...

coz going back...
s sumthng...
dat only mature pipol cn do...

yes it is tiring...

going back mins...
xtra effort...
xtra tym...
xtra pains...

but wad wud b d use...
of continuing d path...

wen d path...
s no longer njoyable...

walkng s fun...
nd i vowed nvr 2 stop...

as long as der r paths 2 take...
as long as der r crossroads 2 decyd 4...
as long as der r pipol hu wud join me n my journey...

i'd continue 2 walk...

evn without knwing...
wer it myt lead lead me...

evn without realizng...
wer i rily am going...

evn without fnding out...
wat was n store 4 me...
on d othr road...

i'd stil continue 2 walk...

freely...
nd njoyably...

concluded!
care 2 join me on my walk nxt tym round...

2006-02-09T00:27:00.000+08:00

OUR STORY...

i received this story on my e-mail years ago...

and i also posted this on my previous sites before...

but i just can't help but post it again...

hope that you will enjoy reading...

just like how much i enjoyed reading it...

My phone's beeping sound woke me up one night. Used to receiving important messages only, I grabbed my cell and sleepily pushed the keys and read the message.

"Hi there! Care 2 b my text mate?" Not knowing who the sender was, I deleted the message right away and placed the phone on my bedside table, I tried to go back to sleep.

I had just closed my eyes when I heard the message tone again.

"Hi there, again! Care 2 b my text mate?" again, the message said.

"Who the hell could this be asking for a text mate at the wee hours of the night?" I asked myself.

Again, without bothering to reply I deleted the message.

I was never a 'text maniac' - someone who enjoys texting anyone and everyone even at the wee hours of night, not to mention during the day.

My parents, who were always out of the country forced me to own a cell phone. They told me that having one was more convenient - they could monitor me even if they're miles away.

I wanted to turn the unit off, but since my mother was fond of calling me at night, just to check if I was safe at home, I decided not to.

Just as I was to close my eyes and return to my dreamless sleep, the phone beeped again.

Same number... Such determination!

"Pls reply 2 dis msg & b an angel & save me frm dis abyss of emptiness!!!"

I never knew why, but the message struck me. I got up and pushed the keys... I just then realized I was replying to the message.

"I?m not an angel, n f u want som1 2 save u, m not superman... I'm just a simple prson who u wakes up at dis r of my nyt!!! Nway, do I know u?" I typed.

Seconds later came the reply.

"Nope. U don't know dis lonely soul. Nor does she know u. But I want 2 b ur frnd. I'm Mikaella Cervantes. U?"

"Just call me Julius. How'd u get my no.?" I sent back.

"Hi Julius, nice 2 meet u. Just shuffled the last two digits of mine," she replied.

That was the first and maybe the last time I met someone over the cell phone. We exchanged messages and learned so much about each other that night.

We only said goodbye when my alarm clock rang at 5:00 AM! I had to prepare for school!

And that was also how it all started. A day would not pass without it loving and thoughtful messages from her. It was only then I had learned to appreciate text messages and become eager and excited every time my phone beeped, hoping it would be her.

Mikaella brought out something about me that I never knew I had; I realized I could also be a romantic person... even if it's just through text messaging.

"Keep me as a frnd & I will keep u in my heart. Lock it up & throw away d key so dat no1 can evr tke u away from me..." One day, she sent this message to me.

I then replied...

?In life, we seldom find a true prson & f u evr find 1, hold on & nvr let go... value dat prson coz it's lyf's gift worth keeping & holdin on..."

I never knew why, but her response sent shivers to my spine...

" Value d pipol hu hav touched ur life bcoz u will never know just wen dey will walk out of ur lyf & nvr come back again."

I couldn't understand what I felt that moment, but one thing I was sure though... I could not go on a day without a single word from her. I'd become
used to having her, even though we had not met personally. But truly, she already occupied a space, a large one, in fact in my life.

I texted her back...

"Dont come close f l8r ull jst pass by; don't touch me f l8r ull jst let me cry; dont luv me f l8r ull jst leave me and won't stay..."

I didn't know why I sent her that message, but somehow I felt, every word came from my heart. In the short span of time we were sending messages to each other, I knew, I was starting to keep her in my heart.

I called her once. The voice on the other end was like an angel's.

Soft, kind, full of love...

Yet, there was something in it I couldn't define. We only talked for a few minutes. Before she hung up, she told me not to call again. According to her, it would be better if we would just text each other.

But the voice kept ringing, not only in my head, but in my heart, I'd long to hear it once more. I tried to call her again, but she never answered the phone. She just kept on sending messages and quotations, which I copied in a little notebook. Hopeless romantic? I didn't know. All I could say was that all the messages she sent me were wonderful, they came from the heart and cut through the heart.

One December night, she sent me this message.

"Though we r miles apart, u r always n my heart. I close my eyes & der u r. Even f I'll see u never, I'll always b hir 2 care 4 u, far longer dan
4ever..."

By that time we had been exchanging messages for more than a month. God knew how happy I was. She was right. Although we had not see n each other, what we felt was enough to make us both realize what was keeping us together.

I sent her another message...

"Loving u secretly is a hard thing 4 me 2 do, hoping, wondring that u will feel d same way 2, but I can't read ur mind f u luv me 2. But whatever it is, I'll still be loving u."

Her reply...

"How I wish I cud really tell u how much u mean 2 me, but m afraid 2 love, scared 2 get hurt... I hope dat u will wait 4 me & pray dat u will not get
tired of loving me... =)"

And then I replied again...

"The reason y I met u is bcoz of destiny but f
>destiny will suggest dat I'll live w/o u, den, I'll lie not by destiny but of free will."

Whenever I asked her when we would meet personally, she always answered...

"Soon... soon, love... soon!"

Not seeing each other did not lessen, even a bit, what I felt for her...rather, it even grew deeper and stronger each day. And I was sure, she felt the same way, too. Love messages continued to flow through our lines, between our hearts, which made us go on each day with the thought that sooner, we would see each other, face to face, heart to heart.

Just a few days before Christmas. She stopped sending messages. At first I just thought she had ran out of prepaid. But there was something that kept bothering me... I couldn't understand what was it, but it made me fell nervous. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer. Nevertheless, I continued sending messages.

Suddenly one night, just three days before our Lord's birthday. I heard my phone's message tone again...

At last! It was from her!

"Oftentyms we say gudbye 2 d 1 we luv w/o wanting 2. Though dat doesn't mean dat we stopped loving dem or we stopped 2 care. Sometyms, GOODBYE is a painful way 2 say I LOVE YOU."

I was dumfounded. I didn't know what to think of. What did she mean?

I texted her back, searching for answers but found nothing. I called her but she would not answer.

For the first time in my life, I felt so miserable... desperate... empty...

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose her. I had learned to love her. And I wanted to be with her forever.

The following days I felt nothing but emptiness. It seemed that Mikaella took the life out of me. I missed her so much... her messages...

The tones that would tell me she'd sent another loving message. Nothing around me could feel the emptiness I felt.

Tut... tut... tut... tut... tut...

Just a day before Christmas, my cell beeped again. It was her!

"Meet me at d cafe, 10 AM 2day," I read aloud, making sure the message was true, then I jumped with joy upon hearing from her again. Hurriedly, I
got myself ready and I went to the mall. I knew it was still early, but I wanted to be there before she arrived.

I arrived at the meeting place ten minutes earlier. I was surprised to see her already there, smiling at me. She was very beautiful, Black, deep-set eyes that spoke a thousand words; small, kissable lips; a nose perfectly chiseled and long black hair - everything in her was beautiful. And yes, her eyes radiated kindness and love...but there was a flicker of something in them... sadness?

"Hi, Julius," said the angelic voice I had been dreaming of each night. The voice that I had waited to hear for so long. "Please sit down."

"I am very pleased to meet you, Mikaella," I said, as I took my seat and gave the roses I brought for her.

"Thanks, Julius," she smiled, obviously pleased with the roses. I knew she loved pink roses.

"You are always welcome, Love"

"Julius, I can't stay," she said, sadness in her voice, or was it tears? "I really must go."

"But we just met, Mikaella. Can't we talk a little longer?" I asked, pleadingly.

"I can't really. I just came here to see you and thank you for the time you shared with me. Thank you for everything, Julius. I will never forget you... You will always be here in my heart." She was looking at me straight into the eyes, and I could really feel the sadness in her voice and I swear, there was something in her voice and I swear, there was something in those lovely yet lonely eyes...

She got up and smiled at me, lovingly.

"Tomorrow morning, please come and visit me," She said and gave me a piece of white linen paper.

I read what was written and when I looked up, she was gone.

The following day, Christmas, I woke up early and excitedly readied myself, thinking of her. I hurriedly went to a flower shop and bought a dozen pink roses - for Mikaella.

They lived in an exclusive subdivision. Upon reaching their house, I told the guard who I was and that I was looking for Mikaella.

The guard stared at me, sadness and amazement in his eyes and told me to wait as he called the owner of the house. As I looked at him while he was going inside the house, only then I noticed that the house was brightly lit.

A woman went out and walked towards me, smiling sadly.

"Hi, I'm Maria, Mikaella's mother. Please come inside, Julius." While we were walking towards the mansion, she explained to me why she knew me very well - Mikaella had always been talking about her friend, Julius. I hardly understood what she was saying. I was busy thinking why Mikaella's mother was crying while talking to me. As we came near the great hall of the house, it dawned on me that there was a wake inside, Maybe, a relative passed away, I thought. But deep in my heart, I was trembling and afraid.

As we entered the hall where so many people were silently mourning while others were praying, shaking, I asked her mother. "Where is Mikaella?"

She held my hand and silently, led me to the coffin, which was surrounded by flowers - pink roses, nothing but pink roses.

No words could explain how I felt when I gazed at the coffin and saw who was lying there. The same beautiful girl I met...

A man came beside me; I knew he was Mika's father.

"We are so glad you came, Julius. Mika talked of you all the time. She even asked that her phone be buried with her. She said that in that way, you could still send her messages and you would always be with her."

I couldn't believe everything...

My mind was in limbo.

"But how can this be? We just saw each other yesterday."

"That can't possibly be. She passed away three days ago. She had been suffering from a heart disease since she was a child," said her father.

"But..." I couldn't find the words to say.

"She told us not to bother reaching you,? her mother said, still in tears, "she said you will come, and here you are.?

Pain and bitterness overwhelmed me. I cried silently besides her, staring at her lovely face, memorizing every line of my friend's face, a face I knew I would never forget while I was still alive.

After the internment that afternoon, I went to the chapel she had told me she went everyday.

Sitting there praying and crying to God, I held my phone and typed...

"U taught me how 2 care; u taught me how 2 b kind; u shwd me how 2 lyk som1; u shwd me how 2 luv; but ders 1 thing u didnt teach me & it hurts mor ? u didnt teach me how 2 let go. I LOVE YOU"

I sent the message, and though I knew she wouldn't be able to hold her CP again, I knew in my heart she would get my message. I never expected a reply, yet as my phone beeped again; I felt a shiver down my spine.

The sender's number did not appear on the screen, and tears rolled down my cheeks as I read the message.

"Let go of d hand of d prson u love, but dnt let go of God's hand. 4 if u hold 2 his hand. He may b holding d prson u love n d ader hand 2 let u hold each other again."

"I will never forget you, Mikaella and I will never let go..." I vowed to her and to myself as I left the church.

2006-02-08T04:09:00.000+08:00

OSCAR RACE IS ON...

Best Picture nominees...

Warner Bros. Pictures
Good Night, and Good Luck

directed by: George Clooney

Universal Pictures
Brokeback Mountain

directed by: Ang Lee

Dreamworks SKG and Universal Pictures
Munich

directed by: Steven Spielberg

Sony Pictures Classic
Capote

directed by: Bennett Miller

Lions Gate Film
Crash

directed by: Paul Haggis

Best Actor in a Leading Role nominees...

Joaquin Phoenix

David Strathairn

Heath Ledger

Terrence Howard

Philip Seymour Hoffman

Best Actress in a Leading Role nominees...

Charlize Theron

Felicity Huffman

Reese Witherspoon

Judi Dench

Keira Knightley

2006-02-08T03:52:00.000+08:00

a week before Valentines...

am really unsure what to do now...

it's just one week before Valentines...
and until now...

i dunno who to go out with...

was hoping it was YOU...
but as fate intervened...
and i don't have you beside me...

arghhh...

too bad...
i probably have to spend it alone...

again... :(

2006-02-08T02:43:00.000+08:00

HIGH

Whenever you're with me
Im trying so hard to find sweet serenity
I am still afraid
Just close your eyes and dream
And feel it fade away

*Time won't flow
Everyone knows
When the pain fades away
Dreams won't die
Tears in our eyes
You got to hold your head up high

Ye... yey
Hold your head up high

Just take it sometime
God give enough the will
To change your state of mind
Just try and understand
Its not so hard to see
That i am just a man

*Time won't flow
Everyone knows
When the pain fades away
Dreams won't die
Tears in our eyes
You got to hold your head up high

Ye... yey
Hold your head up high

*Instrumental

Whenever you're with me
Im trying so hard to find sweet serenity
Try to understand
Its not so hard to see
That i am just a man

*Time won't flow
Everyone knows
When the pain fades away
Dreams won't die
Tears in our eyes
You got to hold your head up high

Ye... yey
Hold your head up high
(Repeat 3x)

*Ending

2006-02-08T02:07:00.000+08:00

the day i started to fall for you...

it had always been the same...
me being ditched by the person I am madly in love with...

me who strongly believes in soulmates and the likes...
but who knows...
and who cares about what I feel anyway...

it's just that why do I have to feel being loved...
if it would just end anyway...
and would make me feel bad at all...

why...
why...
why...

our start was something...

you texted me...
saying you have my number...
and that you somewhat knew me...
but not really...

of course...
i know nothing about you...

i even put M?SCOL as your name in my mobile phone...

i wasn't even planning of entertaining you...

not because i don't want to...
or because i don't like you...

but because...
I DON'T KNOW YOU...

but something about you...
made me like you...

i remember...
you always give me a ring...
specially if you know...
that i don't have work...

you always text me...
updating me...
of what's going in and out of your life...

and then...

i just found myself...
waiting for your texts and calls...

i just started...
to wait for your text messages...
specially if i wake up...
from my sleep and naps...

it was you...
who made my life...
CRAZY...

i started feeling...
that i'm in a roller coaster again...

though with the feeling...
of being cautious...

i didn't showed you...
how i feel...

and then...
the time of meeting up came...

it wasn't planned or anything...

we both have nothing to do that day...
we have nowhere to go as well...

that's when i decided...
that it's time to meet up...

i told you my plan...
which even caught you by surprise...

you thought...
am i crazy or what...

you even thought...
that i was joking or something...

i could have said i am...
but i know...
that it is time already...

(to be continued...)

2006-02-07T20:10:00.000+08:00

ULAN

Lagi na lang umuulan
parang walang katapusan
tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon
parang walang humpay
Sa kabila ng lahat ng aking pagsisikap
na limutin ka
ay di pa rin magawa

Hindi naman ako tanga

alam ko na wala ka na

pero mahirap lang na tanggapin

di na kita kapiling

iniwan mo akong nagiisa

sa gitna ng dilim

at basang-basa pa sa ulan

Pero hwag mag-alala

di na kita gagambalain

alam ko naman ngayon

may kapiling ka nang iba

Tanging hiling ko sa'yo

na tuwing umuulan

maalala mo sanang may nagmamahal sayo...

Lagi na lang umuulan

parang walang katapusan

tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon

parang walang humpay

iniwan mo akong nagiisa

sa gitna ng dilim

at basang-basa pa sa ulan

Pero hwag magalala

di na kita gagambalain

alam ko naman ngayon

may kapiling ka nang iba

Tanging hiling ko sa'yo

na tuwing umuulan

maalala mo sanang may nagmamahal sayo...

ako LaLaLaLaLaLa...

2006-02-06T08:06:00.000+08:00

DARKNESS...

My shift starts either at 1:00 in the morning or at 8:30 pm. I'm just one of the thousands whose daily routine have been exaggeratedly changed by the call of my job.

My parents were so concerned about the lifestyle that I'm forming for myself. They were always referring to the possibility of something bad might happen to me while on the road specially at the wee hours of the day.

I always have to defend the nature of my job, and to assure and reassure them over and over again that nothing bad would happen to me.

I've been so used to my shifts that one Wednesday night's event really changed my life. It's something that might even make me consider about the disposition of job I have. And then that Wednesday night...

I purchased a Venti Caramel Cream Frap, my favorite, form Starbucks that night, thinking that I don't have enough time if I would have to buy it in Eastwood. I just sat for a few minutes while I talked to a good friend about the week's events. After hanging the phone down, I hurriedly went to Aurora to ride my everyday jeepney ride. When all of a sudden, a guy probably in his early twenties approached me asking for the Frap that I'm drinking.

The generous person I am, I selflessly gave the cup to the kid without any much word. But as I gave the cup to him, somebody at my back, pushed or punched me - however you might call it - without any reason at all. I could have called it an accident but looking back, I saw that there were just a few people who were at my back at that time.

The first thing that came into my mind was to check my phone at my side pocket or the wallet at my back pocket. But as I check, I noticed that the guy who pushed me was grinning menacingly. That made me anxious a little, knowing that he cpuld have gottrn something from me already, without me knowing it yet.

After checking that I still have everything with me, I went on my walking directing myself to the parked jeepney. It was then that I notice that the guy who pushed me and the kid who aske dfor my Frap were together busying themselves with something in one corner.

I still don't know what really transpired that night...

...until the time that I was already busy handling calls. When I placed my headset around my neck, that's when I felt some unpleasant somewhere around my neck. I hurriedly went in front of the window panes that also serve as our mirror during the graveyard shifts, when I detected a small bruise around my neck, probably an inch or so. I also then noticed that the silver thingie around my neck that I have been wearing for years now is already MISSING!

I know that it may not have been life-threatening or what, but still the feeling of being deceived by somebody who you were gracious to specially out there alone in the dark... - go try figure!

2006-02-06T07:30:00.000+08:00

My "BEST" Friend

More than eight years ago... When I first met you...

You were very shy then... You were so naive... And so innocent...

I myself can't say... Am much more than that...

We were not even close then... You got your set of friends...

We talk here and then... But nothing really special on it...
But as I always look at it... God had a plan... For the two of us...
We got to know each other... We got along so fine...
You met my family... And I met yours too...
We've been through a lot... And I do mean A LOT...
We've had good times... And bad times too... We've shared joys and sorrows...
We've laughed together... And cried together as well...

Now...

As years have passed...

We've been best friends... And nobody can take that away form us...

Nobody can really understand... What makes our friendship unique...

BUT...

Weeks ago...

We went out together...

Had fun and enjoyed...

Watched a movie together...

Which we really like to do...

Weeks ago...

You were just a call away...

Or one text maybe...

Which comforts the two of us...

Knowing that we have one another...

To listen to everything we have to say...

Weeks ago...

You were just beside me...

You were within my grasp...

You were so near me...

Weeks ago...

But that was WEEKS AGO!!!

Now...

That you left...

And left the country...

For TWO LONG YEARS...

To follow your dream...

To follow your heart...

I may have a hard time...

To take that...

Knowing that my best friend...

Had LEFT ME behind...

But don't you worry...

Because even if you're miles away...

I give you my word...

That am still the same person...

That you've left behind...

I am...

And I will always be...

Waiting for you...

Waiting for your return...

2006-02-06T06:12:00.000+08:00

ALPHA:

the creation

starting my new blog site...
may have been one of the most difficult task...
that i have to encounter...
in my entire writing career...

i don't want it to start weak...
i want it to have a certain impact or something...
i have to start it with a bang...

i want it to stand...
i need to...

so here it goes...

One Sunday morning, I was summoned in Ayala Center in Makati for some appointments. I got there ahead of the scheduled time, finished with the things that I have to do and left earlier than planned. Since I got nothing else to do, I just kept on walking along the busy metro and enetered some businesses. And I ended up seeing myself inside Greenbelt.

I brought myself inside the church and started my usual prayer. I was then bothered by a young woman, probably in her late 20's who was carrying an infant who appeard to be her son. She was carrying a bagful of belongings that included some clothing for her and her baby. Their wearing ragged clothes and her slippers needed retirement already.

There was nothing really special with that. I've seen thousands of people like that. I myself have been through hell a lot. And I definitely know that there are more that have worst cases than theirs and mine combine. But what struck me the most was the reception they got from the Sunday churchgoers and the people running the church.

They sat in front of me, so naturally I would really be noticing them. But when the mother stood from her seat, left their belongings, carried her son and went outside, bringing with her a box of milk that doesn't look like an infant milk to me, and a feeding bottle, I saw that everyone's eyes were then glued to the the 2 souls exiting the house of God.

I saw different emotions coming from the eyes of the people around me. I followed the mother-son tandem as well, as they went out the church. Nothing unusual I told myself. That's when I notice a young man sitting way in front of me, peeking through his shoulders at the poor souls outside the church. By the way, the mother was actually preparing her son's milk at that time.

Going back to the young man I was looking at, I saw him took his wallet, and grabbed a handful of bills. He then placed his wallet back into his back pocket, stayed glued at his chair for a couple more minutes, finished with his prayers and went out, walking very slowly in the process. He then walked past the lady, still trying to look if people are looking at their way.

After stalling some more minutes outside, he then approached the lady, talked to her for a few minutes, lokked around again, and gave the lady the money. The man, after a few more chitchats, said his goodbye and left.

Then came a couple, who are going inside the church for their Sunday rituals. The husband then gave the lady yet another sum of bills. The wife, on the other hand took out some food from what looks like a take-out they bought from a fancy restaurant in Makati.

As I watch these people help the lady and her son, I can't help but smile and utter a small thanks to God. I wasn't even planning of going to that church at that time. I wasn't even supposed to be at that place at that time. But He brought me there at that specific time, and I know that He has a reason for doing so.

I stayed on my seat for a couple more minutes, then decided it's time for me to leave. I may not have been able to help by giving money to the lady. I am more than delighted to know that there are still people out there that have good hearts, willing to help without you asking for it.

Cruelty and poverty may be rampant these days, but don't let it beat us. Graft and corruption may kill us all, but don't lose hope. It all starts from within. It only takes for a few good men to make the necessary changes we need.